Sunday, August 23, 2009

Finding Balance

So I've been taking a hiatus from facebook. It started with taking a 2 week sabatical. I find I spend too much time on facebook. Since I'm at home a majority of the time, the internet becomes my connection to the world in some ways. In many ways this is WONDERFUL; it's easy to connect with many friends and family and keep updated with their lives. However this, like all things, becomes twisted in my mind. I start feeling unloved and lonely if no one has messaged me or commented on my page or status. Plus it begins to be a way to waste time. Something I do when I'm tired or just don't know what to do first.

My two weeks turned into 1 1/2 weeks. It helped. I was spending less time on facebook. Just checking it for a few minutes a day. Then one night I sat down to chat with a friend on facebook. It was a legitimate, worthwhile chat. But in the meantime I was sucked in; before I knew it a 1/2 hour or more had passed. I hadn't gotten any more chores done; I hadn't spent time with Dennis, who by that time had fallen asleep on the couch. I was mad about the time I'd wasted, and instead of accepting that and learning from it, I turned my anger on Dennis and we got in a stupid fight with me acting mad because he'd fallen asleep.

That that was it! I deactivated my account. It wasn't worth the negative affects it was having on my mind.

As a side note, it's deactivation is not cancelling your account. It just kind of puts in on hold. All I have to do is sign back in; everything is still there. I'm sure you can actully cancel, but it takes a bit more searching.

So I've been off facebook for maybe a week or two, and I miss it. There are lots of people I don't miss, either becaue we didn't talk anyway or because I have other ways of communicating with them. Facebook does have the potential to create a false sense of community. Everyone has 300 friends, but really most of them are just passing aquaintances. but there are quite a few people that continue popping into my mind. People I consider genuine friends, and facebook happened to be are main means of communicating.

For this reason, I've considered returning to the facebook cult as one of my friends called it. I've noticed a reacurring theme in my life lately. I have a tendency to go to extremes. Watch tv all the time; put the tv in the garage and don't watch it at all. Spend WAY to much time on facebook; deactivate facebook account. I think God is allowing me to find a bit more balance in my life. He's been providing a lot of opportunities for me to develop self-discipline, a fruit I have lacked in my life. So perhaps for some things, at least in this season of life, the answer isn't to cut it off, but rather to discipline my mind and my time so that I may grow in the fruit of the Spirit.

I'm not ready to sign back into Facebook today. I need to know that my mind is ready to be disciplined. I need to be confident that my plan, the limits I choose for myself, will indeed help me to stay connected to those I love without being sucked into the black hole of wasting my life one mouse click at a time.


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