One of my best friends has spoiled me for years on my birthday. In fact, every year it seemed like I had school canceled and we'd spend the day together eating out and shopping - all in honor of me. Whatever I wanted to do he would say, "I can make that happen." This year was really no different, except he was working when school got canceled and the event took place several weeks after my birthday due to busy schedules.
Instead of a whole day of fun, we agreed to meet on a Tuesday night while Heidi was at class. I was very excited to spend time with him and just be with one of my guys. He was too, but was excited to bless/spoil me with a nice dinner and something I needed. Undershirts are a need of mine these days, but we started discussing the possibility of getting me a new tie. I love ties. I love when I can get them to not match, but go with one of my shirts. A new tie can revive an old shirt! I was very excited for the gift.
We planned a route for the evening. We'd stop by Express, go over to Red Robin for dinner, then head to J. Crew if I still didn't have anything. I found four great ties that I was interested in getting. The patterns were similar but the colors were different - and they would really go well with some of my shirts. But then something started to hit me...
I thought at first that I felt guilty because it was like cheating on our year of buying nothing...but it was more than that. I started to feel very overwhelmed in deciding which one to get. I caught myself wanted to ask if I could get 3-4 of them (mind you it was the same tie in different colors.) Then I saw shirts on the shelf that would go REALLY well with those ties as well - so I started imagining what it would look like and if my friend would give in to me 'need.' I started looking for sale signs. Shirts were cheaper if you bought more than one. So I started looking at the shirts I'd like to have and figured I could get two (for cheaper) and one tie. Then I saw these KILLER pants! They were so cool - I knew that I could wear them with half the clothes I currently have. So, it is true that everything that I picked was cool and also versatile! But it started to get bad. It was like this vacuum inside of me wanted just about everything I saw (Express does have some pretty ridiculous looking clothes aside from their nicer stuff.)
My friend was hungry and you don't mess around when he's hungry - so he recommended we go eat and come back if I wanted. I agreed and it was off to Red Robin where I had a great burger. But my mind was still consumed with what to get. I was excited because our next stop was my favorite store: J. Crew. I was hoping for good sales, since that is the ONLY way I can afford to buy anything there.
We had great discussion over dinner, as always, but I started to feel really bad about the whole thing.
Then it hit me - I don't want any of this stuff. I have lots of nice stuff now. Sure, these things would be nice, but I don't need them and I don't think I even really wanted them. I was getting what I wanted.... a nice time and good conversation with one of my best friends. It kind of shocked me because how could I be passing up new clothes?? Has God really been using this not spending time to work on my heart? So next year I've decided that I just want him to keep being my friend...which I'm sure he'll respond, "I can make that happen."